Psychiatrist Mark Banschick M.D. believes that marriage is very rarely the ideological “Happy ever after” that so many people expect.
The truth is it has many pitfalls and can be torn apart by betrayal, abuse, resentment or even just both partners growing apart. In the beginning there is so much to be happy about people can’t fathom the difficulties that may arise.
The sad truth is that all too often people become unhappy in their marriages and may start to feel stuck. Signs of this unhappiness often sneak up on people so it is important to look out for these indications and try to resolve them before they pile up.
You Imagine a Life Where You Are Not Married
We all have “what if” fantasies and thoughts but if there is a constant thread of imagining what life would be like single there may be an issue. Marriage Therapist Marni Fuerman as quoted by Women’s Health writer Aryelle Siclait says that divorce fantasies can be a sign of unhappiness in a marriage. Thoughts such as what it would be like to be married to someone else or what it would be like to alone tend to indicate some level of dissatisfaction.
The Fun Has Disappeared
The honest truth is that those early years of a relationship will have been more fun and although you may still have your moments, general life is not the laugh a minute it used to be. This is okay, it’s not unusual unless the fun seems to have completely disappeared.
When the tough moments of life can not be elevated by mutual laughter this can be an indication that there is no fun left in the relationship. When a couple can no longer laugh together it means they have entered a negative rut which can be very difficult to get out of. Laughter is a great healer and when it’s gone unhappiness takes over.
Everything They Do Annoys You
As a relationship starts to wane and unhappiness grows people become more irritated with each other. It can be the most basic of things like the noise they make when they chew, habits they have, basically a whole host of innocuous things that really are not annoying.
As the resentment of the relationship grows, however, people start to get annoyed at stupid things. These minor things become major sources of anger. When you feel constantly annoyed by these minor things it indicates unhappiness and a potential growing problem.
Infidelity
The ultimate sign that there is unhappiness in the relationship whether it is you or your partner who has strayed. A relationship may have continued after the cheating event occurred but the hurt party will likely still carry that resentment and they will have lost trust in the cheater. Marni Fuerman believes that you don’t have to forget the infidelity but if you can’t move past it then the marriage may be in trouble.
The truth is infidelity is a bad sign for a relationship; the cheater by the very act of their infidelity indicates that they are unhappy with some aspect of the relationship. Once it has happened the one cheated upon must live with and deal with the pain and insult which can breed unhappiness as well.
Everything Seems to End in an Argument
Nothing can be more glaring than a constant environment of contention between spouses where every conversation seems to become an argument. If simple conversations veer off toward a disagreement and end up being unresolved or leaving someone feeling defeated there may be a problem. We of course do not have to agree on everything but constant bickering can be a sign of deep unhappiness and contentious feelings.